Charlie Sheen

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 05.17.16

* Tiger-blooded warlock Charlie Sheen sued by American Express over $287,879 in debt. #Winning. [Courthouse News Service] * It's really happening, folks! Get ready for ASSLaw. [Washington Post] * Morgan Lewis knows how to play both sides -- the firm is handling Donald Trump's tax returns and accompanying controversy while simultaneously vetting Hillary Clinton's possible running mates. [Law.com] * Law school announces a technological innovation concentration... because programming the next LawyerBot is probably the only hope these students have for jobs in 10 years. [Northwestern Pritzker School of Law] * Cuneo Gilbert attorneys said that they felt threatened when former colleague Preetpal Grewal emailed another former colleague stating she wanted “to kill” them in connection with her national origin discrimination suit. Someone's overreacting here. [Law360] * The SEC targets a patent troll and a former Fulbright & Jaworski and Bracewell associate in an unrelated securities fraud case. [The Am Law Daily] * Neil Sedaka may have thought "Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do" but for law firms, mergers are the tough part. [National Law Journal] * The justice gap for poor civil litigants keeps on growing. [The Nation]

By Joe Patrice
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 12.09.15

* Charlie Sheen, not one to beat around the bush, got right down to business in a motion to dismiss his ex-fiancée's lawsuit, calling her an “extortionist who gets paid for sex as a prostitute and porn star.” Looks like someone could use some anger management. [Fox News] * If you've been following the circus sideshow that is Donald Trump's presidential campaign, you know that he's proposed a ban on Muslims entering the country. Needless to say, this is likely completely unconstitutional, and many law profs agree on this point. [WSJ Law Blog] * The GC of Allstate says law firm billing rates are way too damn high. Her pet peeve? "[T]he way law firms bill, the hourly rate system, and the fact that rates go up, or at least they try to have them go up year, after year, after year." [Big Law Business / Bloomberg] * Everything's bigger in Texas, except for this law school's tuition: Texas A&M Law has announced that it will be lowering its in-state tuition by more than 15 percent, and then freezing it at that level for four years for all entering and current students. [PRNewswire] * If you're a minority who's thinking about applying to law school, there are several important things you ought to take into consideration, including which schools will provide you with a "supportive, nurturing, mentoring environment." [U.S. News]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 12.04.15

* It's only been two weeks since Charlie Sheen's HIV reveal, and the lawsuits are already starting to roll in. The actor's ex-fiancée is suing him for big bucks and claims he failed to disclose his status to her before having unprotected sex, which is a felony in California. [Deadline] * When you somehow avoid jail time by asserting an improbable "affluenza" defense after killing people in a drunk-driving wreck, it figures that your downfall comes via tweet. Start out your day by checking out the video of "ya boy ethan couch [allegedly] violating probation." [Dallas Morning News] * Remember the law prof who was banned from SUNY Buffalo Law's campus for allegedly violating its workplace violence policy and then sued the former dean for defamation? A judge has recommended that the case be dismissed. [Buffalo News] * Biglaw attorneys are descending upon the 21st annual Conference of the Parties (COP 21), because after all, they'll be able to entertain clients with tales about the legalities of renewables to cut greenhouse gas emissions. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA] * Law school admins are confident the number of applicants will increase, and while fee waivers still abound, pre-law students are expecting the cycle to be "competitive." A pulse AND the ability to sign loan docs will now be required. [Daily Pennsylvanian]

By Staci Zaretsky
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 11.19.15

* #tbt to The Onion's glorious take on the average American's understanding of the Constitution -- it's sad because it is still so very true. [The Onion] * Forget all those stories about hitting kids with rulers -- nuns are so badass. Here's a group of nuns that work undercover to rescue women from human trafficking. [Huffington Post] * Remember Judge Olu Stevens? He's the judge that took to dismissing all white juries for black defendants. One commentator thinks he should be right -- even if he isn't. [Louisville Constitution-Journal] * You shouldn't let the sh*tstorm that your job creates for you make you a terrible person. Rise above. [Katz Justice] * Evaluating the potential legal claims of Charlie Sheen's former paramours. [Personal Injury Law Blog] * Attention law students: start networking now. Yes, even if it makes you look like a B-school tool. [Law and More]

By Kathryn Rubino
Associate Advice

Non-Sequiturs: 10.01.13

* A California judge sentenced a man to 53 years in prison and then officiated his wedding. So she gave him 53 years followed by a life sentence? Hey ho! [CBS News] * Jersey Shore’s The Situation suffers the indignity of a legal defeat. I mean, if he has dignity left. [South Florida Lawyers] * Who would make a better juror: a non-citizen or Charlie Sheen? I’d prefer to have Sheen… I don’t know if there are many crimes he wouldn’t understand. [The Atlantic] * The results are in from Kaplan’s just completed 2013 survey of law school admissions officers. The headline is that 54 percent of law school admissions officers report cutting their entering law school classes for 2013-2014 and 25 percent plan to do so again next year. Time to build another law school! [Kaplan Test Prep] * A comprehensive list of the crimes committed by Batman in Batman Begins. And I’m not entirely sure everything he did in his hostile takeover of Wayne Enterprises was on the up-and-up either. [Salt Lake Tribune] * Here’s a list of online resources for new attorneys. Here’s another helpful one. [Associate's Mind] * An attorney bit his 3-year-old son. Hurray for bath salts! [KRQE] * A record label threatened to sue a guy. Unfortunately for them they threatened to sue Professor Lawrence Lessig. [NPR] * Student loan default rates are at the highest level in 20 years. Seems like a sustainable model. [Chronicle of Higher Education] * The recycling of policy debaters into litigators brings good and bad habits to the legal profession. On the plus side, there’s the refined research skills. On the other hand, stenographers have a hard time keeping up. [Houston Law Review] * The new song “Lady Justice” by lawyer-artist DNA (featuring Zoha). He’s already figured out that all the good songs these days have to be “featuring” someone. Song after the jump…

By Joe Patrice
Craigslist

Non-Sequiturs: 09.25.13

* Apple gave the iPhone 5 fingerprint database to the NSA. This would be a gross invasion of privacy but Tim Cook masterminded this, so the NSA got the Ecce Homo of fingerprint image captures. [Hackers News Bulletin] * Charlie Sheen got dismissed from jury duty after only one day. #winning [TMZ] * Gordon from Sesame Street lost his palimony case. That’s because he was trying to duck out on the woman who mothered his “1… 2… 3… 4 kids! [thunderclap] Ah… ah… ah!” [Jezebel] * Remember the early days of Twitter? Legal Cheek went back and found some of the earliest Tweets from British legal luminaries. It’s just funnier when you imagine an English accent saying, “I appear to be on Twitter… why, I have no idea.” [Legal Cheek] * If you saw last week’s post on crazy people who claim that no court can try them because of maritime law, check out this epic opinion from Canada. Identifying those folks, like the maritime gang from last week, as Organized Pseudolegal Commercial Argument (“OPCA”) litigants, the opinion is 180 pages seeking “to uncover, expose, collate, and publish the tactics employed by the OPCA community.” [Alberta Courts] * Police crack down on a motorized bar stool. That’s fair, because if there’s one motor vehicle that you’re likely to fall off… [Lowering the Bar] * Professor Ilya Somin is touring the country and coming to a law school near you promoting his new book Democracy and Political Ignorance: Why Smaller Government Is Smarter (affiliate link). Small government does usually smart, as in “cause a sharp, stinging pain.” [The Volokh Conspiracy] * An HLS grad working for the World Bank was rescued from the Kenyan mall hostage crisis. We wish her the best. [Daily Mail] * Senator Elizabeth Warren and Professor Lawrence Lessig are going to be speaking at an event called “The Founders v. The Roberts Court: Corruption, Campaign Finance, and McCutcheon v. FEC” tomorrow at noon Eastern. The event will be livestreamed at the link. [Constitutional Accountability Center] * Craigslist is suing Craigstruck, a company that specializes in delivering items ordered off of Craigslist. It’s how all those $5/hour attorneys get from place to place. Anyway, the owner of Craigstruck proposed to settle the legal dispute via football wager with Craigslist. If only all disputes could be settled this way. Video wager after the jump…

By Joe Patrice
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By Charles River Associates (CRA)
Attorney Misconduct

Morning Docket: 04.19.12

* Judge Jessica Recksiedler has disqualified herself from overseeing George Zimmerman’s murder trial. Stepping up to fill in as ringmaster for this media circus is Judge Kenneth R. Lester Jr. [Washington Post] * Oh joy, new fee hikes associated with law school! Administrations of the LSAT are going down, down, down, so of course the price to take the test no one wants to take anymore is going up, up, up. [National Law Journal] * Trying to win at all costs has its consequences. Just ask the New Orleans prosecutors who are now facing bar complaints for allegedly railroading defendants into harsh convictions. [Slate Magazine] * Hopefully this lawsuit’s descriptions of the rotten chicken that was allegedly served to customers are enough to make you never eat at Kentucky Fried Salmonella again. [Huffington Post] * “Housekeeping, you want me jerk you off?” Ex-MLB player and housekeeper aficionado Lenny Dykstra was sentenced to 270 days in jail after a conviction for lewd conduct and assault. [Bloomberg] * Instead of gold, everything Charlie Sheen touches turns into a lawsuit. The producer for his FX comeback series, “Anger Management,” has been sued by another show producer for $50M. [New York Daily News] * G’day, mates! This just in: if you’re on a business trip down under, you’re entitled to workers’ compensation for any sexual injuries that may occur “during the course of employment.” [Daily Telegraph]

By Staci Zaretsky
Cars

Morning Docket: 09.27.11

* How lucky for us that the Senate decided to avoid a government shutdown, but the third time is not the charm when it comes to the taxpayers’ money. [New York Times] * Did DSK get a blowie in his official capacity as Managing Director of the IMF? That might be what he has to […]

By Staci Zaretsky
Celebrities

Morning Docket: 08.02.11

* The DOJ is suing Alabama because of its immigration law, saying it interferes with federal law. To the extent that federal law won’t prosecute illegal aliens, they’re spot on. [Bloomberg] * Floridians, grab your pitchforks, torches, and chloroform, because Casey Anthony has to return to Orlando for a year’s worth of probation on check […]

By Staci Zaretsky